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Girls and magazines – why Teen Breathe is a breath of fresh air

Our children are exposed to advertising from early childhood, and it comes full force from multiple outlets, including television, social media, and magazines. Some of the messages contained within contribute to negative self-concept. The ultimate goal of advertisers is to turn our children into lifelong spenders who will buy all the products that will mitigate the insecurity created by this bombardment of false images and ideals. In a nutshell:

  • Many young children believe that if they don’t have certain brand name clothes, they will be ‘losers’ who can’t join the ranks of successful adults in the future
  • Children are exposed to products that are age-inappropriate – items that are linked to body image and adult ideas
  • Some television shows and magazines market ‘sexiness’ to sell their products to children, which puts pressure on them to dress or act in ways that may be inappropriate

I found great discussion of research on this topic in Consuming Innocence by Dr. Karen Brooks. You can buy it here or borrow it from the State Library of Queensland here.

Exposure to toxic ideas about body image have a cumulative effect on young girls, particularly in the way that they view their worthiness in relation to what they own and how they look. A lot of people will say, “Oh well, that is just the world. advertising is ubiquitous, there is nothing we can do.” It is not about shielding our kids; far from it. It is about educating ourselves to understand what we are saying yes (or no) to, helping our children to become savvier consumers, and selecting more resources that provide positive images. It is about taking responsibility for being smarter consumers of media. 

Image may contain: 5 people, people smilingAfter reading this book, I went to my local news agent to observe the situation that was being described. I was shocked to see these images, marketed to tweens (7-12 year olds!!) The magazine covers were thick with heavily made-up celebrities and products related to body image.

With that in mind, I did a little bit of research and came across a gem called Teen Breathe. This publication provides an excellent array of content for girls, aimed towards the late tween and teen age group. Many of the articles are about emotional awareness, self-confidence, dealing with social issues positively, stories from around the world, and craft ideas.

IMG_0270

The whole publication contains modern designs that are appealing to look at, with a glaring absence of heavily made-up, photoshopped models. The magazine encourages girls to be happy, be brave, be kind, and be themselves. You can buy the magazine here and at selected news agents.

I know that the constant barrage of advertising is overwhelming and it’s impossible to drown out completely, but the children we work with and love deserve messages that go against the toxic grain of mass media. The buck stops with us – we can encourage positivity and self-care through what we put on our bookshelves or give as gifts. 

A child holds a picture of puckered lips in front of her face in Sliedrecht

I think the confidence and strength of our girls is worth standing up for – and voting for with our wallets – don’t you think? If we know better, we can do better.

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Book review: Safe4Kids book series

One of the most challenging aspects of working with young people is acknowledging the reality that we have the responsibility to protect them from potential harm. It is sometimes hard to do this without terrifying them or preventing them from doing anything out of fear. Protective education aims to equip children with knowledge of their feelings and the language to set appropriate boundaries with others around relationships and touch. This aims to help keep children safe as well as to help them understand they have a network of people who can help them if they feel their trust or personal boundaries have been violated. These measures can help children to protect themselves and feel comfortable in everyday situations.

Safe 4 Kids have released a number of books alongside their protective education program to support parents and educators in starting these crucial discussions with children. Their guidebook introduces the language children can use to assertively set boundaries, and also how to identify a network of safe people. It also includes worksheets for children to draw what their early warning signs look like. The other books in the series cover different situations that can occur in childhood and ways of dealing with them, all linking back to the same key ideas of having a safety team, using the 5 private rules, and identifying safe/unsafe feelings.

Matilda Learns a Valuable Lesson

This book is about safe and unsafe feelings – how to identify them, which situations may lead to different feelings, and how to articulate boundaries to others, including adults. The illustrations show different situations, such as having an adult try to kiss a child who doesn’t want it. It introduces the idea of ‘early warning signs’ and the safety team (a network of trusted people a child can go to when they need help with situations that make them uncomfortable).

Hayden-Reece Learns What To Do if Children See Private Pictures or Private Movies

Because mobile devices are so ubiquitous in our modern age, it is important to start the discussion about pornography early. It can be confronting to use this word, but this book introduces the topic in a child-friendly way by talking about private pictures and private movies, without any graphic images. It talks about where a child might see them, what they are, and how to exit the browser, then talk to a trusted adult. The book reinforces that a child won’t get into trouble by telling someone.

Gary Just Didn’t Know the Rules

This book addresses peer-to-peer sexual behaviour in a non-threatening and non-judgmental way. It introduces the 5 private rules for staying safe. This reinforces that nobody – including other children their age – can touch a child’s private parts or create private images of their body.

Hayden-Reece Learns a Valuable Lesson that Private Means ‘Just For You’

Using a playground scenario of a student who tries to go into the girl’s toilets to look over the stalls, this book talks about what private parts and clothing items are, their correct names, and how to respect the privacy of others at school and elsewhere. It  reinforces safe/unsafe feelings and the use of a safety team if these boundaries are violated.

More information

These books are an excellent resource, particularly for educators who are delivering protective education programs or bodies and relationships lessons as part of the health curriculum. They are non-confronting, child-friendly, and use the same consistent language and ideas around protective behaviours, which benefits children in their learning process. If you need more advice or resources about protective education, make sure to check out the the Safe4Kids Facebook page here and their website here to browse the full range of resources and training for protective education.

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Review: I am EXTRA Special. An IVF Story.

My apologies that this post has taken so long. I was out of action for most of this weekend with an ovarian cyst rupture. The upside is that I got to go out for sushi afterwards. Turns out that sitting in hospital on a weekend afternoon makes you rather hungry… hmmm.

SushiToday’s reviewed book is one that I happened upon in my IVF clinic – how very fitting when you consider the theme. This particular title has been self-published by two Brisbane authors, Belinda Messer and Rosie Luik. Both of these authors have published numerous books on similar topics and I would encourage you to explore the resources on their websites. Belinda’s can be found here and Rosie’s can be found here. You can also buy a copy here. 

For those of you who have started on the journey of fertility treatment, you would understand how confronting it can be. For my partner and I, walking into a clinic for the first time and seeing folders filled with reams of research about infertility was…. well, rather upsetting, especially because I had issues with how IVF was going to fit into my working situation when we first started the process. I used to worry about how I could time appointments around limited leave time was hard. Additionally, knowing that needles, scans and the ‘waiting game’ were all on the other side of that clinic door was another level of tough. Rather than flicking through the asinine magazines or the clinic statistics, I found great comfort in noticing this beautiful book on the bench….

An IVF Story

Title: I am EXTRA Special! An IVF Story

Author/Illustrator: Belinda Messer and Rosie Luik, illustrated by Jessica Smith

Age range: 5 and older

Themes/genre: Fiction narrative, IVF conception

From the very start of this process, my partner and I were always of the opinion that full disclosure to our child about their origins was really important to us. Not only is this recommended by research, but trust and truth are two of our family values. We both wanted our future child to not only be given their truth from day one, but to feel proud and strong in it. We were a little bit lost about how we would actually achieve this, but figured we wouldn’t need to think about it for a little while. Actually getting pregnant was the first obstacle.

IVF Baby Soccer

Nonetheless, this book was a timely gift for our future. It uses simple sentences and accurate illustrations to explain, step by step, how IVF can help people become parents. There is only one sentence per page with a focus on illustration, so it is most suited towards parents who are ready to have the first conversation with their child about their conception. It also doesn’t completely explore sex, which may suit a younger audience. Overall, it is an easy read that is not overwhelming.

The two parents featured in the book are heterosexual, but it is still a story I will read to my child because it focuses on how this process can give two loving people the chance to be parents. It is presented in a very positive light which I believe is important for a child in developing a confident self-concept. I would highly recommend this book as a starting point for the important conversation about the extra special way some babies are made.

 

 

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Review: The Amazing True Story of How Babies are Made by Fiona Katauskas

When I first started to consider having a family of my own, the obvious question was, ‘How will I answer the inventible question…. where did I come from?’ It is a question that any parent ponders at the appropriate time (usually closer to puberty), but in the lead up to that, it is standard to use an age-appropriate explanation… you know, when a man a woman love each other, he will share his seed with her egg… At least, that is how my parents kept my questions at bay before I was mature enough to understand this combination of relationship and biology. When a child is IVF and donor-conceived in a same-sex relationship, it adds a whole other layer of creative explanation. I understood this from the moment I knew I would have a family and I made it my business to find out how I could go about it.

One of the first ‘birds and bees’ books I came across whilst I pondered this conversation wasn’t found in a boutique book store or in some obscure place – I came across it at a regular Australian retailer in the suburbs. At the time I saw it, I thought it was quite progressive that this sort of book could be found in a forward-facing bookshelf alongside The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Possum Magic (great books, by the way). It covers a lot of the standard topics, as well as some of the not-so-standard topics, and is beautifully illustrated to book.

Click the picture to buy a copy from the publisher, Harper Collins

You should also check out Fiona’s website here. Her art and writing is definitely worth a look.

HowBabiesAreMade

Title: The Amazing True Story of How Babies are Made

Author/Illustrator: Fiona Katauskas

Age range: 8 and older

Themes/genre: Non-fiction without narrative, puberty, early sex education, anatomy

Review: 

This beautifully illustrated book is intended as a child’s first exploration into body changes and how babies are made – it is a great bridging piece that is appropriate for children who are approaching the age of the tween, where they may be craving to take their first steps into understanding their body, but not quite ready for a textbook style education. The first pages of the book presents the varied myths about where babies come from, but implores the young reader to consider that the true story of how babies are made is much more interesting… 

 

The first few pages of the book explore anatomical differences between boys and girls. The joy of this is that a parent could elect to share just these pages, and share the rest of the book as their child is ready to grasp the various concepts.

The next part of the book explores puberty and how each sex plays a role in making a baby. The book initially acknowledges the trick language that is often used to name these parts and processes which helps to familiarise the young reader, but it introduces correct scientific language to clarify the appropriate terminology. What really stands out about this book is that the illustrations are beautiful, clear, concise, and accurate.

Eggs-

The author throws in a few jokes that appeal to the young reader (as pictured above), but  these clever puns don’t take away from the accuracy of the book, nor do they cast the topics as ‘taboo’, which is a balanced approach to a topic that can be tough to get right. It is certainly a challenge to appeal to a young audience through their sense of humour, while still using scientifically accurate language, and without instilling shame about the human body.

Throughout the book, it presents the differences between boys’ and girls’ bodies, the process of puberty, fertilisation (including male-female sex), gestation, birth (including caesarean section), breastfeeding, and IVF (including sperm and egg donation). The illustrations detail these concepts, but are very age-appropriate.

What sets this book apart from other early sex education picture books is that it is written for the modern age. It acknowledges that children are made in different ways, and normalises this process alongside all of the usual routes to conception. There isn’t necessarily a mention of same-sex conception and relationships, but it is still a progressive step towards comprehensive and age-appropriate sex and puberty education that is well-written, accurate, and helpful for parents.

 

 

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Review: And Tango Makes Three – By Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell

As well as being an avid reader, I am also a lover of animals – all sorts of animals! Last Christmas, I was fortunate enough to travel in various African countries and I spent many a day on safari, taking in the sight of animals in their natural environment. I spent an afternoon in Capetown, viewing the penguins at a beach and was captivated by the way they congregate and spend time together.

When I found And Tango Makes Three, I simply had to order a copy for my home bookshelf. This book is the true story of Roy and Silo, two chinstrap penguins who live in the zoo at Central Park in New York City (a place currently untapped by my travels). These two penguins fell in love and were given an egg that belonged to a male and female penguin, who were having trouble hatching it. Roy and Silo then raised the baby penguin, called Tango. The practice of two same-sex penguins raising a baby is apparently not uncommon and it has occurred a number of times. The way this book presents the story is sweet, normalised and heart-warming. It introduces the idea of having two fathers within the context of a real-life animal story.

Click the picture to buy a copy from the publisher, Little Simon (Simon & Schuster)

Tango

Title: And Tango Makes Three

Authors: Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell

Illustrator: Henry Cole

Age Range: Suitable for 3 and older – comes in board book and eBook format

Themes/Genre: Short story, narrative non-fiction, board book, fathers, families, diversity, same-sex parents, zoos, wildlife

Review: 

I have always been fascinated by how animals in the natural world form family and kinship groups, especially in ways that challenge the idea that certain roles or family structures are ‘not natural.’ The diversity of the animal world is a lesson to humanity in many ways, that we can thrive under a range of circumstances and one type of family unit is not necessarily superior to the other.

The two main animal characters, Silo and Roy, start off with a friendship that is illustrated by natural behaviours (bowing, swimming together, and singing to each other).

Bowing

The two penguins then build a nest, but are dismayed when they realise they cannot hatch a rock inside it. Although they are two male penguins, they still have a strong and natural desire to do what the other penguins are doing. They are given an egg by the zookeeper that cannot be hatched through the usual means, and the rest of the story follows the process of keeping the egg warm, watching it hatch, feeding the baby penguin, and teaching it penguin behaviours.

The book describes how Roy and Silo, as two male penguins, do the same things as the other families in the zoo and in the city around them. Tango grows up in the same way as her other penguin peers and all is well. At no point in the book is their family structure made into a big deal by the penguins, the zoo visitors, or the zookeeper – which is really how it should be. The book as a whole successfully portrays a same-sex family with two fathers within a real-life narrative context, and it is a story that I connect with as someone who desires for all family structures, including my own, to be viewed as no different.

My favourite part in the story is the final page; ‘At night, the three penguins returned to their nest. There, they snuggled together and, like all the other penguins in the penguin house, and all the other animals in the zoo, and all the families in the big city around them, they went to sleep.’ 

Isn’t that the sweetest?

RJ Miles