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Random cringe scribbles and musings from my younger years

I have just moved house – from The Gap in Brisbane to Indooroopilly. In doing so, I came across folders and books filled with so many memories, photographs, artworks, and anecdotes. A few of the things I found were so funny, I just had to share.

I drew these “artworks” when I was 16. Apparently I was dark and morbid, and liked spoons. I don’t know why I drew a cigarette- I didn’t smoke. Also, the egg is messed up.

As well as the art pad, I also found a notebook that I bought in Japan when I was 20. The first page says:

DON QUIXOTE – Letters to myself.

The next page is from 12th of October 2012.

Now seems as good a time as any to start a journal of my daily happenings. Oh, my pen broke. Anyway…

Right now is both the prime of my life and a serious slump. For every positive, there is a negative. My soul is ebbing, flowing, pushing, pulling and navigating the interminable space of positive and negative energy. I lost my love, but found another. Lost my way, but found another direction. I lost my mind and I’m not sure where to start looking. Life has lost all form in favour of disorder and chaos. But I think I like it.

The next page is entitled THE CARDINAL RULES OF DATING. Oh, 22 year-old me. You were delightful. How many of these rules have I since broken time and time again?

  1. Don’t marry your high school sweetheart.
  2. Don’t date anyone under 25.
  3. No accountants… or lawyers.
  4. No fishing off the company pier.
  5. No vegans or picky eaters.
  6. Don’t date people who are ignorant. It will never work.
  7. Don’t date anyone who doesn’t want children, house or travel. Anyone with so few tangible and similar life goals to you should never be considered a life partner.
  8. Zero tolerance for abuse of substances.
  9. Don’t invest time in people who play mind games or cheat. Life is too short.
  10. Never date someone who calls the ‘toilet’ the ‘dunny’ or the ‘torlet.’ I learned this from my Dad.
  11. Don’t date anyone whose music staples consist of low-level pabulum.
  12. Don’t spend time with people who don’t take care of their mind, body and soul. Such a person could never be relied upon to take care of you.
  13. Don’t bank on people who can’t manage money or harness its power, unless you want to spend your life in debt.
  14. Be discerning about your partner’s religious leanings. Don’t engage faux-Catholic entities or people with dissonant spiritual beliefs. Or people who use ouija boards. That is messed up.
  15. Avoid stingy misers, and people who cook bad food. Or people who hate cats.

To be finished….

13th of October, 2012.

Today we celebrated great-Granny’s 95th birthday. The whole beach was abuzz with youthful life, sunshine and jovial activities. It lifted my spirit somewhat, and I had a great day with the people I love.

After the celebration, we drove to Bribe Island where we were entertained by a throng of plebeians, including a morbidly obese woman with a t-shirt that said “I beat anorexia!” I wish I took a picture. I bet the person who coined the phrase “take a picture, it’ll last longer!” Never anticipated the advent of iPhones 😉

We also saw a gaggle of delinquents loudly dissecting a crustacean. Amidst their scientific inquiry, they were commenting on the creature’s phallus. I loudly interjected and yelled OI! The youths soiled their trousers and carried on in an orderly fashion. Good pedagogues never rest.

Thanks for indulging me. I love finding old diaries and where better to store it than the online space where I can access it forever!

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