I have just moved house – from The Gap in Brisbane to Indooroopilly. In doing so, I came across folders and books filled with so many memories, photographs, artworks, and anecdotes. A few of the things I found were so funny, I just had to share.
I drew these “artworks” when I was 16. Apparently I was dark and morbid, and liked spoons. I don’t know why I drew a cigarette- I didn’t smoke. Also, the egg is messed up.
As well as the art pad, I also found a notebook that I bought in Japan when I was 20. The first page says:
DON QUIXOTE – Letters to myself.
The next page is from 12th of October 2012.
Now seems as good a time as any to start a journal of my daily happenings. Oh, my pen broke. Anyway…
Right now is both the prime of my life and a serious slump. For every positive, there is a negative. My soul is ebbing, flowing, pushing, pulling and navigating the interminable space of positive and negative energy. I lost my love, but found another. Lost my way, but found another direction. I lost my mind and I’m not sure where to start looking. Life has lost all form in favour of disorder and chaos. But I think I like it.
The next page is entitled THE CARDINAL RULES OF DATING. Oh, 22 year-old me. You were delightful. How many of these rules have I since broken time and time again?
- Don’t marry your high school sweetheart.
- Don’t date anyone under 25.
- No accountants… or lawyers.
- No fishing off the company pier.
- No vegans or picky eaters.
- Don’t date people who are ignorant. It will never work.
- Don’t date anyone who doesn’t want children, house or travel. Anyone with so few tangible and similar life goals to you should never be considered a life partner.
- Zero tolerance for abuse of substances.
- Don’t invest time in people who play mind games or cheat. Life is too short.
- Never date someone who calls the ‘toilet’ the ‘dunny’ or the ‘torlet.’ I learned this from my Dad.
- Don’t date anyone whose music staples consist of low-level pabulum.
- Don’t spend time with people who don’t take care of their mind, body and soul. Such a person could never be relied upon to take care of you.
- Don’t bank on people who can’t manage money or harness its power, unless you want to spend your life in debt.
- Be discerning about your partner’s religious leanings. Don’t engage faux-Catholic entities or people with dissonant spiritual beliefs. Or people who use ouija boards. That is messed up.
- Avoid stingy misers, and people who cook bad food. Or people who hate cats.
To be finished….
13th of October, 2012.
Today we celebrated great-Granny’s 95th birthday. The whole beach was abuzz with youthful life, sunshine and jovial activities. It lifted my spirit somewhat, and I had a great day with the people I love.
After the celebration, we drove to Bribe Island where we were entertained by a throng of plebeians, including a morbidly obese woman with a t-shirt that said “I beat anorexia!” I wish I took a picture. I bet the person who coined the phrase “take a picture, it’ll last longer!” Never anticipated the advent of iPhones 😉
We also saw a gaggle of delinquents loudly dissecting a crustacean. Amidst their scientific inquiry, they were commenting on the creature’s phallus. I loudly interjected and yelled OI! The youths soiled their trousers and carried on in an orderly fashion. Good pedagogues never rest.
Thanks for indulging me. I love finding old diaries and where better to store it than the online space where I can access it forever!